Don’t feel bad if you hate parenting sometimes


It's okay to really hate parenting sometimes

I completely dropped my parenting bundle one morning as we scrambled to get ready for school photo day. If school photo day isn’t a reason for a mum to hate parenting, I don’t know what is.

It's okay to hate parenting sometimes

So, of course, on this particular morning it was all about the hair. I was apparently the worst mother in the world because I don’t watch YouTube videos to learn funky styles.

What can I say? Hair has never been my thing.

I present to you Exhibit A, a flashback to when I had a semi-perm put in my hair (and skied in jeans because SO COOL).

Were perms ever a good idea?

As for my daughter, we do a simple ponytail every day with the occasional plait put to good use when nits are doing the rounds.

However, on class photo day, when mums with mad skills create elaborate designs, my daughter gets a bun. And a pretty basic one at that.

The yank and pull of parenting

That morning I was lamenting the humidity, it had been raining for almost a week and the frizz level was out of this world.

As I yanked and pulled my child’s hair and screamed and moaned, she made quite a cutting comment about my lack of prowess in the hair department.

Needless to say, we’re in the THICK of the tween girl stage right now. 

Hormones are starting to race, independence is being tried on for size and the amount of attitude being chucked about could sink a ship.

Fun times.

But a wispy bun was created, threats of hair cutting ensued and I let out a frustrated noise that scared one of my other kids. Not pretty folks.

Related: How we foster independence in our school-age kids

We made it to school on a wing and a prayer and after drop off I sat in the car and said out loud to nobody in particular, “@#$%&* annoying kids.”

No sugar-coating it

And look, some days that’s just the way it is. Parenting is a complete pain in the butt. No sugar-coating it.

Yes, yes #grateful police, I am grateful and so privileged to have three wonderful, healthy children. But some days I downright hate parenting.

It’s relentless, especially when you’re a career insomniac. I’m so tired my tired is tired. However, we muddle through doing the best we can, and if that means less-than-perfect hair styles then so be it.

My strengths don’t lie in doing everything to please my children.

Best my children learn that we all have our strengths and there will always be someone ahead, behind and beside them in life.

My strengths don’t lie in doing everything to please my children.

Kids have to learn the hard way that you can’t always get what you want. Just keep swimming fellow parents, and don’t feel bad if you hate parenting sometimes. It’s both a blessing and a curse, and that’s the truth.

It doesn’t make you a shitty parent if you’re not all butterflies and violins, sometimes you’re mozzies and recorders and that’s okay too.

Is today a good one or a bad one for you?

Note: If you are really struggling and find you hate parenting more than you love it, please give Beyond Blue a call on 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline 13 11 14.


Written by Emily Toxward

Journalist Emily Toxward fumbles her way through parenting three children while juggling the demands of her writing business, Write Styling. A published writer for 20 years, Emily shots from the hip when required and her writing is raw, honest and sometimes humorous.

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