50 hilarious jokes for tweens [free printable]

by

Hilarious jokes for tweens - many new jokes for tweens

I confess I’ve been laughing and groaning away as I put this collection of jokes for tweens together. Jokes are fun for everyone but tweens especially LOVE jokes because not only do they find them hilarious, they also know they will illicit a groan from adults. So satisfying.

If you’ve got a tween who loves pulling out a clever joke, this list of jokes for tweens is for them. Jokes that are so boom-tish they will want to tell you them over and over again. I make no apologies for that – sitting through kids’ jokes you’ve heard countless times is all part of parenting a tween, or two, or three.


This one is good too: Mind-bending lateral thinking puzzles for kids


 

The trick will be to stop older siblings from butting in with the punchline. There is no sadder face than that of a tween robbed of a punchline. Shhhhh, just pretend you’ve never, ever heard any of these pearlers before.

Click here to print the jokes for tweens

50+ hilarious jokes for tweens

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.

Q: What kind of key can never unlock a door?
A: A monkey.

Q: Why couldn’t Cinderella play soccer?
A: She kept running away from the ball.

Q: What’s a crocodile’s favourite game?
A: Snap!

Q: What is a cow without a map?
A: Udderly lost.

Q: Why was the Maths book sad?
A: It had too many problems.

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a potato?
A: Mashed potato.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A: A stick.

Q: What race is never run?
A: A swimming race.

Q: What do you call an old snowman?
A: A creek.

Q: Why did the pirate learn the alphabet?
A: Because he was always lost at C.

Q: What do you call a kangaroo crossed with a sheep?
A: A woolly jumper.

Q: What kind of tree fits into your hand?
A: A palm tree.

Q: What did the man say when he walked into a bar?
A: Ouch!

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9!

Q: What do you call a fly with no wings?
A: A walk.

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Sydney Harbour Bridge?
A: Of course – the Sydney Harbour Bridge can’t jump.

Q: Why don’t sharks eat clowns?
A: Because they taste funny.

Q: What has one eye, but can’t see?
A: A needle.

Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
A: I’ll meet you at the corner.

Q: What kind of water cannot freeze?
A: Hot water.

Q: Why do kangaroo mums hate rainy weather?
A: Their joeys have to play inside.

Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
A: Because she will let it go.

Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
A: Because he went to high school.

Q: What kind of hair does the ocean have?
A: Wavy.

Q: What did the baby corn say to the Mama corn?
A: Where is the popcorn?

Q: What do you call a cow with three legs?
A: Lean beef.

Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear.

Q: What word ends with e and only has one letter in it?
A: Envelope.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to dance with.

Q: What did one egg say to another?
A: You crack me up.

Q: Why did the girl throw a clock out the window?
A: Because she wanted to see time fly.

Q: What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A: Pork Chop.

Q: What is 47 + 11 + 82 + 161 + 99 + 5?
A: A headache.

Q: Why did the boy run around his bed?
A: Because he was trying to catch up on sleep.

Q: What staying in a corner but can travel the world?
A: A postage stamp.

Q: What do echidnas say when they kiss?
A: Ouch!

Q: What do you give a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
A: Frostbite!

Q: What fruit teases people a lot?
A: Ba-na, na, na, na…na!

Q: Why was the picture sent to jail?
A: It was framed.

Q: What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
A: Sneakers.

Q: What are two things you can’t have for breakfast?
A: Lunch and dinner.

Q: Did you hear what they did about the kidnapping in the park?
A: They woke him up.

Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: Because you can see right through them.

Q: Why did the student eat her homework?
A: Because her teacher told her it was a piece of cake.

Q: What kind of bone should a dog never eat?
A: A trombone.

Q: What has two legs but can’t walk?
A: A pair of jeans.

Q: What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
A: R2 Detour

Q: What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
A: Snow.

Q: What do you call a dog in summer?
A: A hot dog.

Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm in your apple.

Q: Which letters are not in the alphabet?
A: The ones in your letterbox.

Q: Were any famous men and women born on your birthday?
A: No, only babies.

Share your best jokes for tweens in the comments. They will love you for it!

Don’t miss these lateral-thinking puzzles for tweens!

50+ hilarious jokes for tweens - fun and clever jokes to make tweens laugh

Feature image by Alicia Jones; all other images by Mumlyfe.

Written by Bron Maxabella

Bron is the founder of Mumlyfe and is so happy to welcome you here. Bron has been writing in the Australian parenting space as Maxabella for more than 10 years and is mum to three mostly happy kids and wife to one mostly happy husband. Mostly happy is a win, right?

We’re very social

More for you

50+ of the best Christmas gifts for tweens of all ages

50+ of the best Christmas gifts for tweens of all ages

Those lovely little tweenie tweens are equal parts delightful and depressing. No one does he sulk better or holds a grudge longer than a tween. Especially a tween who wanted an Apple watch but received a calculator instead (this may or may not have happened at our...

19 favourite family cookbooks we come back to again and again

19 favourite family cookbooks we come back to again and again

The hardest part about making this list of my favourite family cookbooks is keeping it reined in. I love, love, love cookbooks. I love reading them, I love looking at them and, yes, I even love cooking from them. That's the number one way a book can make it onto my...

Affiliate links

From time to time Mumlyfe uses affiliate links.  It means that Mumlyfe may receive a small commission at no cost to you when you make a purchase using the link.  You can find out more about how it works here.

You may also like

Related

This year, I vow to be a better mum

This year, I vow to be a better mum

Parenting teens is hard. So f*cking hard. But it's also delightful. Sometimes I'm so deep in the hard times that I forget about the soft moments. That buried under the knee-deep clothes on the floor, the defiance, the backtalk and 'the face' (parents of teens will...

50+ of the best Christmas gifts for tweens of all ages

50+ of the best Christmas gifts for tweens of all ages

Those lovely little tweenie tweens are equal parts delightful and depressing. No one does he sulk better or holds a grudge longer than a tween. Especially a tween who wanted an Apple watch but received a calculator instead (this may or may not have happened at our...

9 Comments

  1. Shitty jokes

    I asked for jokes, Not shit.

    Reply
  2. shawn

    I don’t know what to say

    Reply
  3. Ben

    Jokes are for 5-6 yr olds not tweens. Step it up a bit

    Reply
  4. N_Z_I_R_A
  5. N_Z_I_R_A_

    They are just too funny memorise these and might just become a class clown.

    Reply
  6. semaj

    im not even gonna…

    Reply
  7. no

    i dont want to

    Reply
  8. geneva

    those were so funny, and very cheesy too.

    Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This